Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
Im sweating champagne and woke up in nothing but a tuxedo jacket. What didnt go wrong last night?
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
I wish drunk me came with subtitles
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
There's wine in the fridge here. You could leave school and we could get day drunk.
That's my favorite drunk.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize
