We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
They just gave us root beer floats. I guess I won't quit my job today.
I thought his dick was headless. then I pulled back the foreskin.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
I'm willing to share. He can have sloppy seconds.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
I'm fucking sick of guys. I think I'm going to date myself. No drama. And I know I'll always put out.
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
