Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
we are learning about oedipus in english. fuck you for making this awkward for me
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
You said you couldn't look at me because you would have to take off your sunglasses but you can't because they're the "guides to your eyes".
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
Well you know I have tits so that's half the battle
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
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