New drink name: the Vermont Douchebag. Take shot of maple syrup, drop into cup of jager, bomb.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
FYI : beer farts in the morning chase women right out of bed!
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
dude. i just ate tomato soup with a funnel. we're out of spoon-straws.
I never thought I'd say this but my vagina is taking a serious break for awhile
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
best. trip. ever. this is going to be too much fun. petland isnt going to know what hit them.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
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