dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
Best part of having a window in your office is that you can leave through it when you shit your pants at work.
im currently assessing the tequila situation in preparation of your arrival
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
Randomize
