i think my tv is drunk
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Is your delayed response due to the massive amount of judging going on?
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
I just need a text that says "put that food down bitch" and then maybe I'll lose water weight through tears
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
I love random hookups in covid sex. Usually girls think me about a one and a half to a two and a half but now that I got this mask on I'm a Solid 6.
Randomize
