I wish you could order shots online.
You can't see him, he's in front of the dildo, but Amelia Earhart is blocking your view.
I turn the corner to find her walking in the front door in a tee-shirt, two different shoes and no pants. All she said to me was "I'm sad"
Oh my God, I want him to live with his face in my vagina forever.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I can't even type what I drank. I'll throw up
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
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