Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I just noticed that when I sneeze...my nipples get hard.
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I just don't know what he sees in my vagina...and that scares me.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Putting Chia seeds in beer makes it ok for my diet, right?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
