We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
Regardless of the degree, it's probably not good to relate so closely to the Steve-O documentary.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
And here I thought that was one nut sack too many
Worst case: you're extra horny, have no control of your mouth or actions, and maybe murder someone. Child's play.
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.
the guy working the counter at the liquor store noticed i got my haircut and said it was pretty.....
Randomize
