she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I thought short asians scared me, however seeing my first tall asian I'm terrified.
I just don't see what's wrong with carrying a water bottle around.
It's not the bottle. It's the fact that you're drinking wine out of a sport bottle at 9 am.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
Today's hangover is a "wear sunglasses while pooping in the dark" kind of day
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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