Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
how many past hook-ups can i invite to go bar hopping with me for my b-day before it becomes a bad idea?
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
Can we make a pact that if we're 40 and still sluts that aren't married we can get civil unioned the fuck up and raise an asian baby as our own?
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
after all you did bang a few mechanics. you must have got some second hand skills by now for building us a go kart.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Ugh. All the good hoes are in their third trimester.
Randomize
