I just chugged a whole pitcher of beer in 1 min. 9 sec. A whole goddamn pitcher.
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
who said I'd never amount to anything...i just won 'most enthusiastic' at my poledancing class
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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