When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
You picked the wrong day to call in sick. She's wearing the librarian glasses today.
He was sucking on my finger.... and it was at that moment that I thought: Man. I wish I had a penis.
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
I just saw the Donald Trump of homeless quys walking down the street. He had three shopping carts and a bike.
I woke up with a picture of my dick as my background. still wondering if it was a good night or not.
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
He did a backflip because drugs
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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