Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
She was so loose she sounded like a jar of salsa. I didn't know that was even possible.
I'm drinking Dom Perignon from the bottle with a straw just to piss of some french dude.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
I rewarded myself with Taco Bell tonight for going a full week without punching my roommates in the face or wishing bodily harm on them.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
Just discovered I was so fucked up last night I called in sick to work... TWICE
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