It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
two words...techno handjob
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
Its like the two hemispheres of my brain are in a death match but are two evenly matched for either side to win kinda drunk.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
He kept kissing me on the cheek when I was pretending to sleep while he cried
Yeah I was just reminiscing about that time a seagull shit on your head at the beach
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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