you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
My brother brings gifts into my room to wrap them. It's a pizza cutter and a box of condoms..
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
Don't talk about his dick. That's mine. There's a copyright on it. Use with permission
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
You can't go around chasing people and screaming JUST LET ME LOVE YOU. We're in a public place.
There is a dude with blue hair and a samurai sword and another dude dressed as Dead Pool. I daresay standard social conventions are not applicable in this environment.
I woke up, topless, my car was parked funny so I threw on my hoodieto go fix it and found a jello shot in my pocket. where did I go last night?!
Randomize
