I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
Well, he hasn't actually seen me naked. Just my boobs... and the left side of my vagina.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Whats a polite way to say 'if you havent put on a freshman 15 i would like to see you during break'?
Randomize
