allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
It was like the Ritz Carlton of jails. I got introduced to our criminal system the right way.
Only you could turn Mozart into a stripper song.
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
remember, YOU ARE A WINNER
my dinner was a box of cheezits simultaneously mixed in with cocoa puffs and fried rice.
My leg won't stop wagging. It's like it's congratulating my vagina.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
Okay well for one he didn't speak any english but before any happened he made me use the translator to consent
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
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