You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
TAing a class of 300 froshies and being so hungover I forgot a bra is my way of making dreams come true.
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
Shitshow foam night was such a success
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
i'm just really offended he didn't want to have breakup sex. like that was the only thing i was really looking forward to
This is me trying to take a picture to send to grandma. At 4. We were trying to look sober.
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
Obviously you're feeling a little sexually frustrated.
I consider humping a stranger every ten minutes when I walk in the street.
Randomize
