im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
He yelled "CARLI LLOYD" and then kicked the cake off the table. Soccer is making monsters out of us.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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