The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
No, he will live forever, like cockroaches and Jack Bauer.
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
The George Foreman grill is melted. I don't know what other problems could arise.
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
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