Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
home. puking in laundry basket.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
I just got a whiff of tequila through the air conditioner.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
I have to bobbypin his pubes for us to have sex. The other day he wanted me to braid them.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I just want to eat Taco Bell and throw it up on his doorstep.
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
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