So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
So after I pop out this baby we need to just go on a monthlong coke binge so I can get skinny again before vegas
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
You went around chanting "dinosaur period" and drinking tomato soup from the can.
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
You think he will forgive me for the paper being a week late if I bring him a beer?
...it's a 9am class...
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
i'm sitting in bed scratching my boobs and wearing a sparkly fedora and have no one to blame but myself
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
Randomize
