sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
I got drunk and smashed his tv with the keg and so he blames me for being evicted.
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
Are you still feeling it? I'm in the bathtub. The water doesn't work but it's okay because I'm wearing pants.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
I bought the restaurant a boat airhorn to wake up sleeping employees.
I love you
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
