grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
By the way, she says hi. At least I think she did since she licked my phone
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Moral of the story: next time my plans include you and bourbon, I'm packing a toothbrush.
Someone fucked a stripper in their rental car, there is goddamn glitter everywhere.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I would like you to know, a bag of cheese cubes just attacked me at work.
Randomize
