i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
christmas break will be like the 25 days of orgasms
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
Im gonna take a shit then figure out how to be better at basketball
So I had sex with a hook nosed, lisping masadonian last night.
Glad that degree in literature is paying off. Nice adjectives. Maybe set the bar a little higher though?
I completely forgot I gave up beer. But airports don't count. They're like international waters. No rules.
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I mean I did fuck her boyfriend, the least I could do is post happy birthday on her Facebook wall.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
