We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
no. you're not making a beach trip out of my abortion.
Then we all started singing, "Our house, in the middle of the street. Our house, fucks a lot of freshman meat". It was magical.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
I need a costume for that party. Even if I'm just taking it off.
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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