he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
This weekend I forgot a cup, so I drank my wine out of a Pringles can. So classy. You would have been so proud.
Doug the spinning teacher gave me chlyamdia
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
