he whipped it out and it smelt like my toilet after taco Tuesday
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I was topless in his bathroom sink taking bong rips , goodmorning . He told me he could get use to this
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
The air was thick with penises
Well I talked to some Canadians today, and I'm keeping a vigilant watch for sharks, so I'm pretty booked up.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
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