Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
I'm on my fifth cocktail in twenty minutes. I don't think I will end this on two legs.
whoa! who said he's my boyfriend?
Oops. Sorry. That guy you keep accidentally running into in public. And at home. And with your vagina.
just saw a guy snowshoeing to the liqour store
was it you?
...yes
You are the tramp this city needs, but not the one it deserves.
Nothing like coming home and finding the nearly full bottle of fireball you forgot you had stashed before your trip
It's the little things
lol I'll trade you jello for a tampon
what a trade!
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
