hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I met her at the quidditch match. She was the snitch and I caught her. After at the bar she walked up grabbed my hand and said snitches have flesh memories.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Just set out 2 water bottles as an offering to my hungover self.
Walked into a bathroom stall to pop an addy for my three back-to-back finals today. Felt like Clark Kent walking into a phonebooth.
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
Can you recommend a quality dick? I haven’t had a good sexing in a while
Randomize
