Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
do u usually make out with people before telling them your name???
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
Dude, he wouldn't have sex with me during halftime cause we were rooting for different teams and that would be "bad juju", I had to settle for 69.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
