so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I cagt a turtle and named him squirt. He's in my bathtub Caleb is feeding me peaches! This is the most beautiful vodka Thursday ever!
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I waxed the left side of it and was in too much pain to do the right side so my crotch looks like cruella devil
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
HE MIGHT HAVE YOUR BUTTHOLE, BUT HE CANT HAVE YOUR HEART. THATS MINE.
I'm not sure what happened last night but my dog has a red cup taped to his back with a little beer and a ping pong ball in it..
We invented a new game.
She totals her lexus and all she wants is to have crazy wild sex.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
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