I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
If he's gonna send me dick pics; he should at least zoom in to make it look bigger.
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
dude, i told you to rally, so you sprinted upstairs, knocked some girl down, and without missing a beat said, "not now bitch, im in the fucking zone" and took off
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
He just took off his shirt. I'll text you later.
Randomize
