He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
I'm at the laundry mat. This guy is here showing me his ankle monitor. The weird ones always find me.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Wanna get really high and go on a Valentine's Day Sexathon cause we're both single or would that be weird?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
Only I could host a baby shower where the cops get called.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
And somehow i feel like your expectations will turn out to be illegal in some way.
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