dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
I can only name 15 people I've had sex with - can I just start claiming that as my sex number?
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Let's just say there's a reason that "suede" rhymes with "laid".
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
that girl from work that wants to bone me just said 'the last time i went this long without sex was in jail'. sup, red flag
You should make cookies and when I get home we can have a slow motion hug and eat them
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
This morning i put band aids over my nipples bc i was too lazy to put on a bra. Think I've reached a new low.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
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