This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
Tranny group. Dance off. Horse hair and dicks swinging. I. Cant. Unsee. This.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
I am naked and annoyed.
No biggie, just trying to keep my liver function in the green
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
You know when your cat drags a dead bird into the the house as a present and drops it at your feet looking all pleased because it thinks you'll be pleased? That's what sex with him was like.
Randomize
