i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
You don't think I'm weird or immature right?
No I think it's cute we had sex on your Bob the Builder sheets
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
I told the emergency room nurse I didn't want to stop and ruin the moment. She said safewords are there for a reason. Super condescending. Got her number though.
Turns out it's a fake number.
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
Randomize
