I love my bros weed
Im gonna hate it in like 20 mins though
Five things that make you perfect. Go.
The skin of a dead hooker. The blood of the innocent. The soul of a kitten. The hat from cat in the hat. And sunglasses.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
This drive is very scenic
And I'm chugging whiskey in the back
As you should, soak in all this country has to offer
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
In other news, Justin Bieber has a big dick and that makes me uncomfortable.
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
