I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
