We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
just found out I caught the bouquet at the wedding. I win for being the drunkest yet most functional bridesmaid.
Would it be bad if I bought her bread, meat, cheese, and stuff as her christmas present so she can make me a sandwich?
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
this hospital has no fireball
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I told him to send me a dick snap for my birthday. To personalize it, he drew a candle coming out of the tip of it so I could blow it out.
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
