nothing this campus sells is worth it. not even sex.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
And then you gave the bride a high five and said "Go forth and Consummate."
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
Life lesson: if a hot naked girl tells you to spit on something, you spit on it. No questions.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
tell raye i said hi and sorry for bleeding on the limes
Randomize
