I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
I had to make out with him. He bought me a few drinks and he was an Angels fan. As a Yankee fan that was my way of saying good game and sorry we beat the shit out of you
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
Randomize
