If she sees it and stops hooking up w/ me then you owe me
in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
Dude, I just saw a bird vs. squirrel fight. A car won.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
I sat in the bathroom on the counter and gave out advice to all the random people that walked in
One time she made a chronological chart for the guys she has given blow jobs to, I shit you not.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I just got my beard fondled by a drunk chick outside the venue. I feel slightly violated. And I think her boyfriend wanted to fight me.
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
My vagina just clenched in fear
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
