New low. Found an ant nibbling on my last xanax. Flicked it away and popped it in my mouth anyways.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
There's a questionable stain on Harley's bed...would they have sex on a dog bed?
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
Well that was the first and last time I've had to write "divorce party" on a request time off form. I'm throwing it for my mom. What is my life turning into.
You don't know how small your school is until you know everyone in the ER on a Friday night.
fucked him on the porch to avoid the chanting that always happens when we leave the bedroom. backfired when a group of freshman walked by and started screaming like fucking babies.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Randomize
