oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
No flamethrowers. That is a direct order.
The guy I wanted to make out with just got beat up, let's roll.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
When I found her she was drinking wine out of a plastic bag in a bathroom stall, staring at herself in the mirror and crying hysterically. Cabo does things to a person...
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
She started telling me about this odd patch of smooth skin under her boobs. Not sure if she was hitting on me or looking for free advise from a doctor...
I mean, I still played with her tits for like 20min tho.
The crowd is chanting "we want sex!" There's a man dressed as bacon. That is all
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
and eventually we just all took our pants off
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