Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
You can wear my underwear. It'll be like old times.
Remember when there was a happier time when people could all hang out together with out the awkwardness of the fact that she stole $1000 and cheated on a brother with another brother !?!??
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
My cat took a shit on the guy who passed out in the bathtub
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
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