So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Are you sighing at your phone and judging me right now?
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
He took a girl home tonight that he was trying to sell a fridge to. She wanted a fridge and got his dick. He's got a talent.
and then i signed some dudes back with a turkey hand print in honor of thanksgiving
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
i just had diarrhea that people from the 1930's would have died from
Well if YOU HAVE TO KNOW, we're laying across the street from the bar on that grassy hill trying to see who's she's with at the bar.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
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