You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
So I definitely tried to pay a cab with baseball tickets last night
Do you remember telling our cab driver you were going to fuck a penguin?
My frontal lobe is being piloted by Jack Daniels right now.
You lost me at unexpected butt stuff. Everything else I would probably do.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
Yea she is hot. But she also had no toothpaste in her entire apartment.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
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