Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
and I asked her"are you allergic to condoms latex like your older sister " she said "Idk this is gonna be my 1time"
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
sitting on my lesbian neighbors couch, sexting, & eating a burrito.. that single
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
THE FASTEST WAY TO MY HEART IS THROUGH FAMILY SIZED BAGS OF GENERIC BRAND CHEESE BALLS
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
He just sprayed AXE in his mouth to get rid of his bad breath... THAT DRUNK
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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